I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
