3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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