Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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