To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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