I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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