That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Vodka?
Forever.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize