haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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