Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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