His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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