dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize