The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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