I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Randomize
