This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
