your room smells of hookers.
And success
Do vagina's smell?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize