TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
