well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
