I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
