Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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