with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So many bounce houses so little time
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
