the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
