Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize