Don't you send me to vm
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
