Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
