Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
