never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
