i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
