I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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