I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
