I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
