There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Say something about gay babies.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
