i may or may not be watching the land before time
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
