capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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