You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
