Me too!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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