lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
