doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
two words...techno handjob
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
