Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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