He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
it glows. i had to have it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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