yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
