i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
