forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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