so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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