What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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