she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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