But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
