she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
