i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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