I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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