ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
being pregnant is like rehab
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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