Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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