So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
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