i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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