I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
