Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
