Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
