Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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