he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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