areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
nutella sex= disaster
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Randomize
