What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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