i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
