The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize