i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
